a pair of mischievous goblins examine their new charge
Ebony and Tenebrous were aghast.
“Did you hear what those fairies gave her? Beauty, grace and willingness to please? Bast’s tits, that’s a terrible thing to do to a kitten.“
Ten got up on her hind legs. “Never trust a flying thing that gives you a mouthful of glitter when you catch it. Come on, Eb, let’s give her our gifts.”
“Like half a shrew? I tried giving her that, her dam shouted at me.“
“Quite right too,“ said Ten wisely, “it’s got be at least four weeks before she can manage the skulls. That’ll be my gift then. May you always be able to manage skulls. Big ones, small ones, beaky ones, mousey ones, any sort of skull.“
Ebony copied her sister’s pose. “And may you always catch the flying things. Then you’ll never be hungry, and that’s much better than fairy wishes.”
***
Thirty years later, Alba was everyone’s favourite keeper at the zoo. Not only could she cure her colleagues’ headaches just by telling their skulls to give over, but she was the only person they’d ever know who could work alone in the emu enclosure…
Sometimes the help you need isn’t the help you want. Call 1-800-273-8255 if you’re thinking of suicide.
This comic meant a whole lot to me. It was sincere in its depiction and treated the issue through the eyes of a grounded person. Not some godly hero saying everything is better than it seems, but a person trying his best before bringing her somewhere who can actually help.
depression and being in the closet stole my teenage years from me so if you catch me doing some juvenile shit in my late twenties mine your own damn business
me talking to myself trying to justify spending $12 on dice that glow in the dark
Look, if there was one lesson I learned about in being a happy adult, it’s that you gotta do all the stuff you wanted to do as a kid. You got a spare $12? Buy the dice that glow in the dark, you’ll love them! I have 4 sets that glow in the dark, they’re awesome!!
You wanna see the butterfly exhibit but it costs an extra $1.50? Go do it! It’s worth it!! It’s so worth it! You wanna have some ice cream but you gotta ‘eat healthy’? What’s one ice cream cone?
Life is far too short not to live it, and it’s eaten up by the capitalist hellscape we live in. Go, live your life. Buy the dice, eat ice cream for breakfast.
I’m 36. I’m a combat veteran. And I’m in love with cutesy pink ruffled kawaii shit.
